Counting to infinity

On this first day of the new decade I found myself randomly bursting into tears while cleaning my room for no particular reason. I guess I had hoped that by the time we had brought in the new year I would know where I was and where I'm going. Instead I'm still waiting on an email that seems to never be coming while treading water at work until I leave. Essentially I'm in limbo, and it's really starting to get to me. I can't make plans, I can't book tickets, I can't start packing up my room, it's starting to feel like I'm not going anywhere at all. And in the midst of all this I feel desperately lonely and lost, all I want to do is get out there in the world and start meeting people. I'm so glad that 2009 is over because it was a really crappy year, but I just wanted 2010 to start with a bit more clarity and direction than I have right now.

Cupcakes of happiness

All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on.
It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out.

-Albert Camus

Oven baked joy

Go on, have a look at this photo and just try not to be joyful. Isn't that the magic of honey joys? Pretty bird platters and op shopped tableclothes help too. I'm feeling a bit down at the moment because of a few mean people so I need all the joy I can get these days. Yummy power seems to work just as well as pretty power, and as always I'm just telling myself that this is a test of my strength so I can be prepared for the big move to Japan. I'm a very sensitive person and I tend to take criticism very personally and I doubt Japan is going to be all cute kids and silly songs all the time. I need to learn to toughen up a bit and just accept that not everyone is as empathetic as I am. Though really, would it hurt people to just be nice?

Even if it hurts

Always try to be merry,
love the one you love,
laugh and eat lots of cheese, even if it hurts.

-Jay Malinowski, Bedouin Soundclash

Growing up, but not really

This whole Japan thing (thankyou for all the congratulations!) has made me think a lot about growing up and life paths and making decisions and all those boring adult-y things. Because in fact, part of my desire to go to Japan was to avoid the whole 'getting a real job and settling down' type of thing that most people do after finishing uni. It just happened to be that I really wanted to run away and live overseas but I didn't want to work in a pub in England or a ski field in Canada, I wanted to do something worthwhile and useful.

And the more I've thought about it the more reasonable it seems for me to live all over the world, teaching English and volunteering and having fantastic experiences. I'm giving myself at least 5 years before I really need to make any big decisions about what I'm going to do with my life, and maybe in those 5 years I'll have fallen in love with teaching, a certain country or culture and have it all figured out. If not, I'll come back to Melbourne, go back to Ikea (I would love to say I'm joking but really..) and sort myself out then, and I'll still only be 27!

So here's to the act of growing up as a result of doing something childish like running away.

I'm going to Japan!

Pretty polaroid from here

Remember how awhile ago I mentioned that I wanted to go to Japan as a Teaching English as a Foreign Language teacher? Well after six months, a bunch of study and an interview with the best (in my opinion) chain of English schools in Japan I received my letter of offer today!

They still have to wait to find out exactly where I'm going and when I'm starting but most of the contracts start around January. I'm so excited and totally freaking out, this is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me in my life. Who knows when I'll come back, there's so much of the world I am desperate to see after I have had enough of Japan, it could be years before I return! Don't worry though, I'll keep on blogging and taking polaroids while I'm at it :)

Wineries also help

Especially wineries with amazing food, pretty rivers and tables on a bridge. If I could go back here every time I had a problem with the universe I would be a very very happy person.