Sunday, March 6, 2011

Falling.

Sometimes I feel like I'm standing on the edge, and if I were to linger for much longer I'd fall in head first. Whether it's head first into anxiety, depression or even love I'm always clinging onto that edge. I've fallen before. I've fallen a lot of times for a lot of reasons and all of them resulted in my heart feeling like it had been ripped from my chest. Love should be good and it should be happy and depression should be sad but sometimes the feelings melt into one another, where love makes me depressed and depression makes me lovesick. And that's why I avoid your eyes and keep my head bowed or settled somewhere else while we speak. I don't want to fall because although you seem perfect and we would be perfect it still wouldn't be enough, and I don't want that again. I don't want to fall for the wrong reason.

2 comments:

I_am_Tulsa said...

Hello. I stumbled upon your blog and was fascinated by the beautiful picture of snow! I see that you too are living in Japan. I hope that you are safe and not too stressed out by the sad news in the country now.

PHILO said...

just do not forget standing up again!!
xoxo