Friday, January 1, 2010

Counting to infinity


On this first day of the new decade I found myself randomly bursting into tears while cleaning my room for no particular reason. I guess I had hoped that by the time we had brought in the new year I would know where I was and where I'm going. Instead I'm still waiting on an email that seems to never be coming while treading water at work until I leave. Essentially I'm in limbo, and it's really starting to get to me. I can't make plans, I can't book tickets, I can't start packing up my room, it's starting to feel like I'm not going anywhere at all. And in the midst of all this I feel desperately lonely and lost, all I want to do is get out there in the world and start meeting people. I'm so glad that 2009 is over because it was a really crappy year, but I just wanted 2010 to start with a bit more clarity and direction than I have right now.

1 comment:

Karolina said...

I hope that everything will work out fine.. Don't worry, the email will come, sooner or later. Just a bit of patience :) Happy new year by the way, I hope that in 365 days you will feel better about it than you do about 2009 :)