The one thing that is keeping me sane after working 5 days straight at Ikea (apart from the organic soy lattes at Plough to Platter) is my evening cup of tea on my balcony. Occasionally this has been swapped for a beer on particularly frustrating days, but for the most it's been a cup of trusty Lipton's. And with the tea comes the deep thoughts, the 'trying to figure out what I want to do with my life' thoughts.
Right now I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to do this year now that I'm not at uni and only working part-time. I had grand plans of going to Europe with a friend for a month but we've recently realised that our savings are going down, not up, and it's becoming less and less likely that we'll be able to afford it at all. On the plus side it means I can go to New Zealand with my parents for three weeks instead, which will be really great seeing as we haven't had a family holiday since we went to Queensland when I was in Year 10.
Either way I'm trying not to stress myself out about it but I also know that if I don't do something proactive about it I'll just end up coasting for years without a "real" job like my brother is still doing. The difference is that he can actually get a real job with his degree (Computer Science), I can't. There's a huge part of me that really wants to shake things up and move to the coast or across the world or join the army or something ridiculous, the monotony is starting to get to me here. I also have this feeling that I haven't really found my "crowd" just yet, and while there seems to be plenty of people in this big wide world of the internet who might "get" me, I just can't seem to find people face-to-face who are the same. It's not that I don't love my friends I have, I just feel like there's something missing. Or maybe I'm just being selfish?
9 comments:
I know just how you feel. I LOVE my friends but I meet people in blog world who seem to be on my wave length in a way my friends aren't. I don't think you are being selfish (but only because that would mean I'm selfish too).
I definitely relate. Although I am still beginning my third year of uni (and am still looking for a part-time job), I do have the same connection to my 'blog peers' rather than my real life friends. However I have just moved interstate so I should get out there more, but no you are not selfish or picky. I found the same thing happen to me when I started my blog I suddenly realised that there are people out there who 'get' me and are very much like me. unlike my real friends who are different. I think it takes the pressure off of the relationships because you can express yourself elsewhere.
Hmmm... thought-provoking post this one!
1. 'Tis true: a cup of tea makes the world seem alright
2. Shocking time to be going O/S with the whole financial you-know-whats-it and no cash (have an ace time in NZ though - I'll be travelling through in March!)
3. No matter what you choose next, if it doesn't work out you will always have time to get it right. It's the experience along the way that makes you find your niche I believe.
4. I hear you with the online friends bit - some people are not that good at being truly themselves for fear of alienation, so they stick with the crowd and it's hard to see their true colors. The people we connect with online might be living just around the corner, though sadly we may never know it. We'll always have computers, so don't stress... we'll still be here :)
Oh gawd, I feel the same way. I can't talk whatever I feel like talking about to my friends. No one would understand except for online friends *sigh*
Nah, I totally don't think you're being selfish. I'm with Jen on this: it's the experience along the way, and all of that time not having a "real" job is more important than the endpoint. It's hard finding friends who are honest with themselves and others. Online friends are just as important as the offline ones ;-)c
I know how that is...I am constantly trying to figure out what to do...
I know for sure what I am "trained" to do is not for me.
Also, I tagged you for cute blogs, head to my blog for details, dear!
Goodness, reading this was like reading an page of my diary... I've felt/am feeling all these feelings, as well. I know what I want to do, and then again I don't... sometimes I just want to travel and wander and do nothing at all. But what I do know, is I don't just want to work 9-5 type jobs where I'm miserable, and where there doesn't seem to be any visibale light at the end of the tunnel, or no end at all.
Of course, I also don't feel college is right for me... but everyone is saying that without a college degree, I'll never be able to get a decent job... sometimes I think this is a completely stupid notion, and other times I wonder if perhaps, they're right after all...
Anyway, sorry all the rambling, you made me think! Also I realize this post is kind of dated, but eh, hope it's not too late to throw in my two cents. ;)
xoxo,
S-C
Yes, it's soo important to make time for these things.
haha... it´s funny cause it seems like theres a lot of people who feel this way.
In two months i´ll graduate and I still have no idea what I want to do!!!
This is the first time I read your blog, but I really like the way you think and the way you express yourself.
You made me realize a lot of things... thanks!
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