Ok, you're halfway through a 7 hour shift, you got up at 7am this morning after leaving a fantastic gathering of friends at 12am last night despite reeeeeeeally wanting to stay to play 'operation' (yes the actual board game), you get a voicemail message from one of the people you clean for wanting you to babysit from 3-8pm, you are finishing work at 3pm exactly. What do you do? Well if you're a true idiot like me you say "yeah no problem, I didn't have anything planned for the rest of the day". You arrive at said babysitting job already tired, the kids seem calm, everything should be fine. And then it begins.
The kids are only allowed to watch tv for 15 minutes at a time, or for one whole cartoon network episode. I have to cook dinner for all of us and make sure they eat it. They both need to have showers at some point. If they are good they can have icecream. Let's just say that there was no icecream. Sophie (7) went from being reasonably normal for a whole hour of playing "shopping" to being an absolute nutta during dinner which involved flicking carrots from toothpicks, trying to get stung by a bee (while I hid), pulling up her top, pulling down her skirt, running around and around the table, playing with the little water fountain thing until water went everywhere, and shaking the toothpick holder so hard I thought she was going to strain a muscle. And after all that she only ate her carrots. So I pulled out the mobile and did the "do you want me to call Dad? I'm dialling his number... it's ringing... are you going to behave?" routine. This seemed to work and she then ate her lamb kebab thingy and most of her corn. Oh and don't think for a second that Will (9) was being an angel throughout this though! He was just less... possessed. (Apparently Sophie hasn't drank lemonade for, well, most of her natural life. So of course she served us all up a glass of lemonade. Thanks for pointing that out AFTER she went insane Will)
Then they had showers, this went relatively well depsite me not having a clue how to work the shower (hence I never have to clean it, funny that..) so Will had to turn it on and off for Sophie. She then spent the next half hour naked and running around, jumping on the couch, randomly screaming and then finally just lying full stretch on the couch.
Me "don't you think your Dad will find it odd to walk in and see you naked on the couch?"
Sophie "he's seen me naked before SILLY"
Me "yes but I don't think he'd like you running around naked while I'm here"
Sophie "hahaha you're right. That IS funny"
And then 15 minutes later in he walks, looks slightly surprised at Sophie's nakedness, but doesn't seem at all surprised by her hyperness, "oh they're always like this" he says. Umm.. someone remind me to say no next time he asks me to babysit please! On the positive side however he paid me in euros and gave me a europe plug adaptor which was nice, I got 40 euro for 4 hours, and considering the exchange rate I'm thinking that pretty good! Now please excuse me while I go and collapse on the couch and try not to think about cleaning AND Christmas room tomorrow :(